De sterrennacht

(Starry Night, Vincent van Gogh, 1889, Oil on canvas, 73 × 92 cm, 28¾ × 36¼ in
Museum of Modern Art, New York City)

The Starry Night
Anne Sexton

"That does not keep me from having a terrible need of -- shall I say the word -- religion. Then I go out at night to paint the stars."

--Vincent Van Gogh in a letter to his brother

The town does not exist
except where one black-haired tree slips
up like a drowned woman into the hot sky.
The town is silent. The night boils with eleven stars.
Oh starry starry night! This is how
I want to die.

It moves. They are all alive.
Even the moon bulges in its orange irons
to push children, like a god, from its eye.
The old unseen serpent swallows up the stars.
Oh starry starry night! This is how
I want to die:

into that rushing beast of the night,
sucked up by that great dragon, to split
from my life with no flag,
no belly,
no cry.

Project #1- Lit and the other Arts. It's time for me to banish all sense of negativity and embrace all fleeting epiphanies because it's simply happier and healthier that way. Yet it's not so much a concerted effort as it is a relinquishing of pettiness. If we all stop picking on details and look around, we might realise we're so much luckier than we think.

Tomorrow is our permanent address

After what i can only call a music dry spell for a couple of months, i've finally found the band to lift my jaded spirits. And this enlightenment has come from none other than a local band called B Quartet. Their new album, Tomorrow is Our Permanent Address, has been on repeat on my iTunes ever since their very very awesome album launch on Saturday. I will venture to make Radiohead, Portishead and at times, Muse comparisons. Props to the lead singer, who sounds like a Thom Yorke more in tune, their fabulous drummer, and the amazing guitar riffs, along with gorgeous keyboard and trip hop influences. For you guys out there who want indie music from a band that doesn't start with 'The', or has annoying punk vocals, or has fallen into the cookie-cutter song style of the genre, please go check B Quartet out on myspace. Totally mindblowing. Songs to look out for: Shoebox- a gorgeous ballad, Stupid Luxury- great beat, Boutique- perfect for road trips, and When Mathematics Fail.

I was thinking about the title of the album- first time i heard it, i thought it was just fact. Then i thought it seemed kind of hopeful, with the whole idea of going somewhere everyday, with the guarantee that tomorrow is going to bring a new experience. Now, i just think it sounds a little sad. The idea of inevitability is just depressing. And we're yanked along with time every day, even though we might not be ready yet. We think we know where we're going in life, we think we know exactly what we want- the right relationship, the good job, a good education.. but once we've obtained what we think is one of our goals, we become blind to the possibility that it might not be the 'right' one. It becomes harder and harder to retain clarity of mind/purpose when you're having to stomach unhappiness for the sake of happiness.

Don't get me wrong. It's not as bad as it sounds. It's just that we live on the hope that things will get better, that things will change, and that we will somehow get the direction we need. It's supposed to hit us in an epiphany of pure understanding; and that is just idealistic. If things haven't changed in a drastic, dramatic moment in 21 years, then where is the evidence that it might happen any day now? Is it possible that we're constantly living in the hope that tomorrow might be better if we can just stick with it today, and is that so wrong? When, then, does disillusionment set in, or has it already begun? Have we simply given up the fight, and instead, live on the possibility that things will change? People say that living in the right here and now is the way to happiness. Yet, i often find that it's the right here and now that is usually the most unbearable. Perhaps today's good is the proof that tomorrow is a direction we take positively. I hope im right.